You Mean....Like Gas???

Mornings are hectic in my house. HECTIC. Suburban Cowboy climbs out of bed each morning look sleepily sexy while I have to paste myself together and somehow resign myself to the fact that I look NOTHING like I want to. Frizzy hair, pale skin and undereye circles, I trek to work. I feel like I am settling. All.The.Freakin.Time.
Usually by the time I climb out of the shower and get dressed, Stinkerbell and Princess Bacon are in my bed, struggling to wake up as they glare at me under their hair that is covering their faces like the evil little girl from The Ring. My girls are NOT morning people, yet they do try.


The other morning, I am flat ironing hair that I had already tried to blow dry into submission. It was not looking promising. Princess Bacon was on my bed and I was trying to rush her along so she could at least get breakfast in her belly before she went next door to the sitter for the day. Nothing I was saying was making sense.
“Come on ladies. Hurry up so you can get some food in your bellies,” I pleaded as I slid an earring into my ear and hunted for my watch.
“Why?” Thanks for taking your thumb out of your mouth Stinkerbell to add that favorite question. She is awake enough to ask why, but not enough to put on her underwear??? Where is the logic there?? I wonder how my boss would feel if I told him I was late because I wanted to stand around pantless asking annoying questions???
“Well girls, you need to eat breakfast, it’s the most important meal of the day!” I said cherrily.
“Why?” Really???!!
“Because your body needs something to start the day and breakfast is like fuel. It gets your body running. You know how a car needs fuel to run? Well food is like fuel for your body, it gets it going. Breakfast is body fuel,”I replied.
“You mean gas mom,” Princess Bacon replied. I shoot her a “look” in the mirror.
“Fuel and gas are the same thing Princess Bacon,” I said icily.
“Then just say gas, its shorter,” she said. Really??!!!
“You know what? Get dressed, no more girls….” I replied, beyond frustrated now. I stormed out of the room.
Suburban Cowboy tells me to pick my battles. You know what, he keeps rubbing that one in, I am going to cover HIM in fuel and light his ass on fire. Oops sorry, I should have said gas…..its shorter…..!